The Wait
I have read that this “two week wait” from the time that you find you “could” be pregnant until the time you can actually test it is the hardest part of the process. I think people go a little crazy being trapped in their own minds with no new data to process. They want it so badly, but there is nothing left that they can actually “do” so they just spin around agonizing about what might or might not be.
However, anyone who knows me knows that I have spent my life agonizing about minutia, living in my head working out every possible pathway from where I am now to where I would like to be. There’s just something about being caught unprepared for any eventuality that makes me sick with worry. I’m not bragging…I know this is a tragic flaw in my makeup. I envy those carefree souls that don’t worry quite like I do.
Anyway, I say all of that to say that this whole “2 week wait” thing is very old hat for me. I am a seasoned veteran at worrying about things like this and have already turned the corner and achieved peace with where we are in the process. I have rationalized how this is actually easier than watching my wife suffer through the drugs of the previous few weeks and much less complicated. We’re down to just one shot a day that I have responsibility for giving and Amy just has to take a pill or two. See how at peace I am? I’m not even positive what pill she’s taking or how often.
It was so very hectic and difficult as the egg retrieval day approached and then the transfer day was such an emotional culmination to everything that, again, this feels almost like a calm time. The storm has passed and Amy is doing great. Our fifth wedding anniversary is tomorrow and I feel like we have a pretty good shot that this will work out. At the very least, I get to spend all of the time up until the pregnancy test believing that we “might” already be pregnant and I like that feeling too much to start worrying about what I can not control.
It’s only been a few days. Give it time – you’ll crack.
On a serious note, it’s been a strange ride. In some ways this cycle was more ‘relaxing’ then all the natural cycles over the years because we know we did everything right. There actually are two fertilized embryos floating around in there somewhere. It’s the best odds we’ve ever had.
I suppose it’s a tad premature to proclaim how unaffected I am by the pressure,eh?
Really, though, I’ve already moved on to worrying about things ten paces down the road. Names, daycares, schools, etc..
[...] this effort is going to pay off for us. The wait has been a little harder on Team Jensen than I thought it would be, but perhaps I was being naive. It has certainly been a little less zen-like and a little more [...]